In the Comedy Central mockumentary, The Review, Andy Daly has a TV show that rates and reviews life events. The audience requests that Daly gives a review of eating 15 pancakes, running from the law, or getting divorced, and he carries them out regardless of cost to his personal life. This year, I got the chance to do an in-depth review of unemployment.
I’m gonna arrange this review into the three main stages of unemployment: losing the job, looking for a job and having absolutely nothing to do.
Stage 1: Losing the job
An 8PM email arrives, asking if I can meet first thing tomorrow before vacation. “lol, I might be getting laid-off tomorrow”, I joke to my partner. I’ve made that joke a million times because part of me always, unironically believed it. Working for a small organization is a 9-5 exercise in uncertainty. Words like “I’m so sorry” and “one week of severance” (lol) are all that I remember from that fateful conversation with my manager and COO.
After that conversation, my most pressing emotional need was to just tell people. Being a person of little shame, shouting out my newfound unemployment from the rooftops was both cathartic and functional. Messages from coworkers flowed in from my LinkedIn post of shame. Friends bought me beer. My aunts bought me dinner. In a society and family structure that puts a lot of weight on status and wealth, it sucks to tell everyone the news that you’ve been taken down a peg. What would suck even more is suffering alone. Wear that unemployment loud and proud.
“Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrrion Lannister
Oh, and let’s not forget about money. When you’re making a comfortable amount of money, your bank account is a kind of video game currency that you trade in for fun stuff. You can go on with your living situation indefinitely. But when you’re not making any money, your bank account immediately becomes a doomsday clock, ticking down the months before you can’t pay rent. The main thing that gave me peace of mind was doing the math of and calculating how much time I had on my doomsday clock. Knowing that I had a decent amount of time on the countdown clock really relieved the existential dread in the short term.
One other note on losing the job: holy crap, applying for unemployment insurance is so hard. Like most state government services, you have to fight tooth and nail to get services that you rightfully qualify for. The most vulnerable people are given our worst, most unreliable services.
The emotional support I received from my partner, friends and family were great. Having your life sent into a tailspin is not great. My sub-rating of losing the job is 1.5/5 stars.
Stage 2: Looking for a job
Ughhhhhh applying for jobs online is the worst. Throw another resume into the eternal void of Indeed, ZipRecruiter, LinkedIn! Copy and paste every line of your resume into one thousand different formatting online portals! Install a bot that applies to every posted LinkedIn job! And the best part? Never heard from any of them. My resume is pretty decent, and I could not even make it to an HR call.
On the other hand, people that you know are an amazing resource for getting a job. For being such a hilariously weird platform, the LinkedIn post of shame was easily the best way to broadcast to a wide number of close-enough relations that you need a job. My cringeworthy post put me in contact with people who could vouch for me and immediately got me in contact with hiring managers and HR.
Interviewing for a job while employed is the best. You get to be really picky, and time is your friend. Interviewing for a job while unemployed is like going on a series of high stakes internet dates. Every week between interview rounds is another week without pay. Every question about fit at a company or enjoyment of the job is relegated to your need to pay the bills. I got lucky and had a really pleasant interview format with my new employer. I was asked to give a presentation to the team, no trick math questions or whiteboard coding. I wish all technical interviews were like this because it gave them the team to engage with me in a way that’s very similar to us working together.
My sub-rating of looking for a job is 2/5 stars.
Having Absolutely Nothing to Do
Besides applying for a handful of jobs a day, the majority of job hunting is actually waiting.
With a lot of extra time, some people are called to learn guitar, build a website or volunteer. I did none of that and it was amazing. After the first round of existential dread passed, I realized I haven’t had an extended time off like this since high school. I could just say yes to all my whims. Read at the pool all morning? yep. Drive 10 hours to my cousin’s graduation party on a Wednesday? sure. Eat lunch at 3PM? you betcha. Every day tasks like grocery shopping were done at an oozingly slow pace, to be completed at my leisure.
My sub-rating for having absolutely nothing to do is 5/5 stars.
Overall thoughts
I’m well aware that I was fortunate to spend my unemployment doing nothing and spending savings rather than scrounging to make ends meet. Losing a job is higher stress and higher stakes if you haven’t been a working cushy office jobs for years. While I certainly can’t recommend getting laid-off, it was an eye-opening experience that made me appreciate a lot of things I had taken for granted.
My final rating of unemployment: 2/5 stars